Why Aren’t You Married?

Why Aren’t You Married?

“Why aren’t you married?” is the question every single person dreads hearing. How are you supposed to answer that? We don’t ask married people why they’re married, yet somehow people think it’s an appropriate question to ask someone who isn’t. Don’t you find it’s the people who know you the least that feel the most comfortable asking such a personal question? I’ve been asked it by total strangers, healthcare providers and people at church for years, and I’ve finally come up with a good answer. “I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” That’s it. No need to justify why I’m not where someone else thinks I should be, and no need to second guess whether something is wrong with me or my life because it doesn’t look like someone else’s. I’ve spent way too much time there, and I’d prefer to spend my time on other things. Like enjoying where I am and trusting God with my future. I’ve also wondered if, in part, their curiosity is because they themselves weren’t comfortable being single, so they wonder how others manage it? Whatever the case, God doesn’t waste the seasons of our lives, and when we look to Him to guide us, we won’t either.

Lord, as your children, we are defined by You. Our identity is in You. Though the world wants to define us by our relationship status, You have already defined us by creating us in Your image. We are so much more than a single or divorcee or widow to You. We are grateful to be seen, known and loved by You. You love us so much that You don’t want our lives to simply be carbon copies of what we see around us, for You are too creative for that. Forgive us for the times we’ve thought You were holding out on us because we’re not where we thought we’d be. Forgive us for giving up on prayer when we’ve not seen the results we’ve wanted. Giving up on prayer indicates we’ve given up on You, and we humbly ask for forgiveness, and for You to remind us of the power of prayer because of the life giving and life changing name we are praying in, Jesus Christ. Renew our belief that nothing is too difficult for You, and that nothing is wasted in Your hands. I thank You that we are not forgotten by You Lord, and that as we are praying together, we are right where You want us to be. This time with You is a gift. The work You’re doing in our hearts to draw us closer to You is also a gift. Help us to love You and Your ways so much that we trust You even when it’s hard. Even when we’re not where we want to be, or where we thought we’d be. Bring healing to our hearts from past relationships that didn’t work out as we also thank You for protecting us from the relationships we thought we wanted because You have something better. You are the someone better, and we know that because You’ve given us the matchless gift of Your Son Jesus. Because You’ve not withheld Your very best from us, we can trust You to bring other good gifts into our lives. If that’s a dating relationship Lord, so be it. If it’s not, so be it. Lord, help us to want what You want, and to patiently and obediently follow You so that in doing so, we are giving You are best. We love You Lord, and we thank You that You know how to meet and exceed the desires of our hearts. We pray and thank You for loving us and hearing us Lord, and it’s the name of Jesus we praise You, Amen.

Applicable Scriptures:

James 1:17 Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights; with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning

Romans 8:32 He did not even spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. How will he not also with him grant us everything?

Philippians 4:11-12 I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need.

1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is a great gain.

1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written: What eye did not see and ear did not hear, and what never entered the human mind—God prepared this for those who love Him

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven:

Psalm 84:11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield. The Lord gives grace and glory; He does not withhold the good from those who live with integrity.

Romans 12:1 Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship

1 Corinthians 7:7-8 I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.